Saturday, November 13, 2010
:: Today, ::
Greetings. Above presenting Ivy.
Firay's (blue shirt in picture below)
Fiance-to-be.
Next year March.
Next year March.
Both my age.
Awww.
Pictures taken last friday.The very first time.
This three guys whom I work with
For fox stock-take temp.
Got to see my 'girl-girl' side.
Obviously they were like puzzled.
Like what happened to
'Monster'??
(what they used to call me)
HAHAHAHA!
Like cheyyybyeee lorhh.
They said I went for a make over
And transformed myself.
Lol!
Thanks anyway,
I took it as a nice compliment.
=))
See,
Thats me during my fox days
With them.
Half men.
That's me.
Obviously,
That is me.
Don't be surprised.
Believe it or not.
I am more to that kind of...
Half men?
Huahuahua!
Whatever, I love myself.
I am who I am.
I am who I am.
Well,
I am straight.
Back then I was a tomboy.
Nothing much.
Sometimes,
You react differently with different people.
Shall I say,
I do that most of the time.
But that doesn't mean I'm faking myself.
You just gotta learn to blend well
You just gotta learn to blend well
With others as everyone is different.
And never a time,
I fake myself.
I love being myself.
Talking bout STRAIGHT.
Now I get the point.
Let me give you an example.
You got into a relationship.
It failed.
You broke off.
You went dating again.
You get a rebound.
You fall in love.
You fling.
And blah blah blah.
Just....
Like it goes with the saying,
LIFE GOT TO GO ON.
LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
PATAH TUMBUH HILANG BERGANTI.
Its COMMON isn't it.
A normal thing after a break up.
Just so I know now,
Why they find it weird for me
When there's alot of people out
There who is single too.
Is because
I DON'T DO THE COMMON THING.
After my break up.
Huahuahua!
Weird?
I am weird.
I am difficult.
Like I said,
Life with me can never be easy.
Bottomline:
Bottomline:
There's nothing wrong with me.
Its just me.
I do my own ways.
I hate common ways.
And this is important.
Obviously,
I AM DAMN STRAIGHT
For goodness sake!
Thanks.
Today, you can repeat yourself of what you say.Tomorrow you just forgot what you've said yesterday.
Today, you can very sure of what you felt.
Tomorrow, it fade like the sea wash the sand away.
Today, you would say I'm the world to you.
Tomorrow, I'm just nothing to you.
Today, its our story.
Tomorrow would be another story.
Today, you need me like its the end of the world.
Tomorrow, you just dumped me somewhere.
Today, I was apple of your eyes.
Tomorrow, you took your eyes off me.
Today, you can never get enough of me.
Tomorrow, you get more than enough of me.
Today, I was part of you.
Tomorrow, I was never in the picture.
That's how it goes.
And it goes on.
Without fail.
Today, I can be very sure of what I want.
Tomorrow, I just don't know what I really want.
No doubt,
Sometimes, truth hurts.
Sometimes, it's best you know nothing at all.
I just don't know how to describe my feelings.
No more.
But all I could ever say.
I wish it was me.
I wish you were drunk.
I wish it was just a mistake.
I wish you could have stop yourself.
I wish you could spare me a thought.
I wish you still remember me before you act.
I wish I was in your mind.
I had wish for all this.
I just don't know how to tell you
The feeling I'm bearing with.
It's worst than I ever thought.
Because I thought I could hate you
With those reasons.
But,
I just can't.
Funny,
Weird.
That we were madly in love.
But it seems like it was just a friendship thingy.
Tell me,
Where's the most nicest place,
Exciting place we had went.
Trust me.
It was only.
The flyer.
And it was me.
Who brought you there on your birthday.
Baby, where had you took me
Through out our relationship period?
Look at you now.
You weren't attached.
But it was far way exciting than ours
Isn't it?
The best place we went was just flyer.
We don't go on holidays.
We don't eat in expensive restaurants.
We didn't even scroll ourselves to nice places.
We didn't even hit SEOUL GARDEN.
And there's many more.
I just can't get my mind out of it.
Was it me or was it my fate?
Is this life or just my fate?
The next moment,
I just got to swallow
Something even more painful to bear with.
I was the best?
Yeah,
Too much of me being the best for you.
That you make me lost my breath
With the fact you had someone to replaced me.
In a bad, bad way.
I was amazing?
Yeah,
Too amazing that you lose yourself
To her.
I'm awesome?
Too awesome
That you just got to do those.
Just what on earth you were thinking boy?
I really wish I could read your mind
And understand.
Probably,
Life would be easier for me.
I'm sorry to say this.
I had wish it was me.
In the pictures.
It was me you spend most of your time with.
Because back then.
You hardly have a time for me.
You and YOUR WORK.
That's the reason why
You should know
Why was it hard to get me
In the very first place.
That you nearly give up.
I know,
When the chase is over.
This is what gonna happen.
It's like I chase you back.
Because I know myself very well.
I'm not easy to please.
I'm hardly fall in love.
But when I do,
Look at me baby,
Did I ever let you go?
Yes,
I initiate the break up.
But I came back didn't I?
You know me well baby,
Time is my very bestfriend.
I don't hate,
I don't revenge.
All I need was time to heal it.
I came back pleading you instead
To come back.
Is it fair?
And after all those shit.
It continues
Up till today.
I just don't know what
Exactly you want from me.
Exactly what I am to you.
Exactly what you took me for.
You see boy.
I AM VERY MISERABLE.
Just be nice would you?
You got mad, very furious
Even if a guy touch me.
Up till today.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IM FEELING NOW?
I seems like I'm fine.
I'm okay.
Strong.
Brave.
If only you know.
I'm torn,
Brokened up.
Struggling.
Wet my pillow with my tears
Every night.
Then you would probably spare me a thought.
I love you, still
Remember?
"ive met mine, have you?"
"ive met mine, have you?"
Lastly,Yeah I know
Heel kills.
And I wanna be heels killer?
Can I?
I BLOODY NEED NEW HEELS!
Okay bye!
Yours Truly, Ella @ 9:16 PM
I Am Who You're Not
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