It's been long I abandoned my blog.
I don't feel like expressing at all,
Anymore.
I know this blog helped me alot
To actually let things outta
My mind, my heart.
And this is the only place
For my love ones to know
Me better and read my mind.

But somethings are better
Left unsaid.

Yes,
No doubt I do miss Syamim.
Yeeeeeee.
Aku tahu balek-balek
Name dekni siol.
Boring!
Tapi sumpah.
It's just hard to explain
In words, not even in pictures.
Why can't anyone understand?
But oh well, how to?
If I don't myself,
So does him.
Soulmate to be actually?
Still do?
Isap buah?
Tark, isap pantat laa kay.

Undefined.
It's not lust,
Swear it wasn't.
Though at times it does cross
My mind when he behaves
Like one.
I was wrong.
Love at first sight thingy?
That the impact last forever?
I don't know.
Puppy love?
No it was drawn near
To real love.
Infatuation?
Ohhh come on!
For goodness sake!
It stays nearly two years!
And more.....
$&@#%^*!
Ohhkay fuck it.
I think its already done.
Over and gone.

Staying strong, still.
I am.
And up till today.
Knowing it just freezed my heart.
Hard as a stone can be.
Heartless now.
Why blame me,
And claimed I've changed
When I'm trying hard
To be strong.

Why must you act
Like you still need me
When you're happy without me.
Oh baby don't tell me,
"It was just from outside,
Inside you wouldn't know"
Yes, I don't know what's inside.
Cause I can't read people
Like an open book.

I'm just trying to be
A good girl.
A good girlfriend.
I can love you with all my heart.
I know I got alot to give.
But even before I could.
You played me out.
Took me for granted.

I have never against
Your happiness.
Never.
I was even dare enough to let go
Of my own for your happiness.
Have I not sacrificed enough?
What more do you want?
You need? You're not happy with?
I gave EVERYTHING.
But it wasn't enough for you.
So it's best you leave.
Just leave and don't come back.

I don't know if I can ever
See your face again.
No baby,
I'm not afraid nor hating.
Cause it just hurt
To see your eyes full
With lies.
I fear you not.
But lies.
Cause my eyes tells only truth
Hence it sees only truth.
So please baby,
Don't come running into me
No more.

And now,
I gotta say baby,
I gotta say.
I gotta tell the world.
Yes the whole world.
Sometimes I wish,
I could take back everything
I'd be easier to never have known you
I would spare myself so much pain.
I thought that
You were the best part of me.
Baby, I guess that
We just believe what we wanna believe.
Lemme tell you what I know.
And you don't seem to know.
I was just part of your game.
Yes you're the winner and
The winner takes it all.
Just take everything cause
Right now I don't wish to
Have anything, even a lil'
About you baby.

It hurts baby.
It sucks most of my time.
But I gotta tell you,
I gotta tell you baby.
I know what we had was the best
From our past.
But lemme tell you what,
With a player like you,
I don't have a prayer.
That's the way to live.
I'm letting you go.
FOR REAL.
I mean it.
Cause baby,
I'm loving myself.

Don't you worry about me.
You should worry more for
Yourself.
Cause as far as I can see.
You're still an asshole.
And I can't ever change you.
On that baby,
I just gotta say.
I'm letting you go, I'm loving myself.