Monday, April 12, 2010
:: There’s Up & Down, Left & Right. ::
*smile even pipi tembam, hehhh!*No larh.
SMILE EVEN EVERY ACTION HURTS.
Love?
Often play in my mind.
Flashing back those memories.
Reminiscing the past.
Cherishing the moments.
Maybe partly it was my fault
To let you go and love another’s.
I refused to hold on and stay.
I admit I just don’t wish to accept.
No regrets.
Cause after all there’s wisdom behind it.
Well apparently,
Things have always happened with reasons.
I strongly believe.
Yes,
I lost my way without you by my side.
But then without being lost,
I can never find a right way.
Hence,
I learned.
I gain.
I’m stronger.
I don’t really know what I want in life
Not until you left.
I sit and think deeply.
I’m not being selfish here.
But I learned it from you.
And true it works well for me too.
Yes I’ve changed.
In a bad way.
Real bad.
That you are disgusted with me.
But hey,
Again.
Life is about learning.
I’m no longer your Ms Independence.
Because if I’m gonna rise.
I would love to rise up alone.
Without you.
I repeat,
Without you.
Yeah lonely at times
When I remember how we used to be.
But those are for me to keep as memories.
And I don’t wish the history to repeat itself.
Yet, those memories make me occupied.
Afraid of losing,
Afraid of hurting,
Damn occupied.
That I don’t wish to go for another ride.
Sick and tired.
I have to be honest.
I’m not really enjoying my singlehood life.
Not because I can’t get over you.
Still clinging on or whatsoever.
Indeed I was afraid of you.
I’m planning for my future.
Brighter than what we always dream of.
Grateful.
Finally I had my own dreams.
And I had my own future.
It has always been US,
Or shall I say YOU?
Where was I?
Not in the picture I believe.
I don’t even wish you to fall back in my arms.
As I’ve never ask for any return.
Doesn’t mean I can’t love another’s.
I had always loved you.
Just that the right one have yet to come.
Doesn’t mean I miss.
I need you.
Doesn’t mean I care.
I prioritize you.
Doesn’t mean I don’t go dates.
I want you still.
Doesn’t mean I say I love.
I’ve not over you.
You turned me off without you realizing it.
Remember I love to put you on test.
Disappointed?
Nahh, this time round.
It’s good for me.
It’s my time now.
ALL FOR MYSELF.
Nobody else but
ME.
I don’t need parties, club, drugs, guys and drinks.
Just to enjoy and be happy,
Cause I ONLY NEED MYSELF.
I’ll prove you wrong baby.
Love?
Often play in my mind.
Flashing back those memories.
Reminiscing the past.
Cherishing the moments.
Maybe partly it was my fault
To let you go and love another’s.
I refused to hold on and stay.
I admit I just don’t wish to accept.
No regrets.
Cause after all there’s wisdom behind it.
Well apparently,
Things have always happened with reasons.
I strongly believe.
Yes,
I lost my way without you by my side.
But then without being lost,
I can never find a right way.
Hence,
I learned.
I gain.
I’m stronger.
I don’t really know what I want in life
Not until you left.
I sit and think deeply.
I’m not being selfish here.
But I learned it from you.
And true it works well for me too.
Yes I’ve changed.
In a bad way.
Real bad.
That you are disgusted with me.
But hey,
Again.
Life is about learning.
I’m no longer your Ms Independence.
Because if I’m gonna rise.
I would love to rise up alone.
Without you.
I repeat,
Without you.
Yeah lonely at times
When I remember how we used to be.
But those are for me to keep as memories.
And I don’t wish the history to repeat itself.
Yet, those memories make me occupied.
Afraid of losing,
Afraid of hurting,
Damn occupied.
That I don’t wish to go for another ride.
Sick and tired.
I have to be honest.
I’m not really enjoying my singlehood life.
Not because I can’t get over you.
Still clinging on or whatsoever.
Indeed I was afraid of you.
I’m planning for my future.
Brighter than what we always dream of.
Grateful.
Finally I had my own dreams.
And I had my own future.
It has always been US,
Or shall I say YOU?
Where was I?
Not in the picture I believe.
I don’t even wish you to fall back in my arms.
As I’ve never ask for any return.
Doesn’t mean I can’t love another’s.
I had always loved you.
Just that the right one have yet to come.
Doesn’t mean I miss.
I need you.
Doesn’t mean I care.
I prioritize you.
Doesn’t mean I don’t go dates.
I want you still.
Doesn’t mean I say I love.
I’ve not over you.
You turned me off without you realizing it.
Remember I love to put you on test.
Disappointed?
Nahh, this time round.
It’s good for me.
It’s my time now.
ALL FOR MYSELF.
Nobody else but
ME.
I don’t need parties, club, drugs, guys and drinks.
Just to enjoy and be happy,
Cause I ONLY NEED MYSELF.
I’ll prove you wrong baby.
If you still think you’re the best for me.
That you can others like you love me.
Believe that no one can love me like you do.
Prove me.
Cause words don’t work on me.
Then I’ll show you what I’ve got.
Give and take,
You can’t always be taking.
Yours Truly, Ella @ 3:12 AM
I Am Who You're Not
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