I wonder what went wrong.
But I never seem to find the answer.
As anyone who is close to me
Would know me well.
I don’t like to see only on one point of view.
Hence,
I will think too much.
Where it will be defined
As a DEEP THINKER.
I’m a fickle minded too.
A real BAD one.
Where I can actually make others
Confused because of me.
At the end of it,
They were the one who gets frustrated.
NOT ME.
I have this problem where I actually need help
Is that I always wanting things to go the right way
But I actually don’t know how it supposed to go like.
And when I do things which I thought the right one,
It turns out to be damn fucking wrong.
All goes hay wired.
I will take the blame.
Even if it’s not mine.
It takes two hands to clap.
YOU ONLY GOT YOURSELF TO BE BLAME.
For sure you want
to admit and be proud of it.
Why can’t you accept then if you did something wrong?
Isn’t life about learning?
True enough,
Without mistakes you can never learn.
Everyone makes mistakes as this is life.
But why must you do the thing that you know it is a big mistakes?
Isn’t that digging your own grave?
Risking?
Again,
Why risk your life for the bad ones?
Risk isn’t only about risking.
Or whether you daring enough
Or you have the courage
But it’s about winning.
Why you risk?
Simple,
It’s because you wanna win.
Hence,
Risk only when there’s a need.
What’s the point of risking for some shits?
Worth it?
Typical reason,
“If you don’t try you’ll never know”.
Tell me about it.
Then I’ll just say.
YOU HAVE YET TO LEARN ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
A Big L I shall give you.
I see the bigger picture in a small view.
Where I think I’m just good for nothing.
Who tries so hard to give only the best.
When actually she forgot.
She’s have many flaws.
She can never be perfect.
And she can never be right all the times.
Even if others think she’s right.
Again,
No one can make EVERYONE happy.
.jpg)
And I’m pretty sure things can never go wrong
If I wasn’t part of them.
I also don’t know how I end up with them.
Close with them.
And made them part of my important list.
Things can never go wrong if it wasn’t for me.
They were those
‘ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE’
And when I enter into their life.
In the middle of nowhere
I ruined it all.
Easily.
As how hard they build as one.
Is as easy I break them apart.
Just imagine?
So I wasn’t wrong
If I were to assume or say
It’s best that I didn’t even exist.
It gonna end soon.
I’ve never run away from problem.
I’ve always clear the shits that I created myself.
Even for other shits.
And the end of it.
I still learn.
I’m not ashamed at all.
But disappointed in myself.
Yes I do very much.
Like BBF said,
“You’ve never learn your mistakes”
And I can even admit and repeat what he implied on me.
I can even say,
“I can never get enough.”
It’s a hectic month.
With full of tears.
Look,
Is this how I should look forward
In my new year?
How am I supposed to have a clear mindset?
Where I don’t hafta look forward for another tear?
Where I can never stop thinking and I just feel
My brain can’t take in anymore.
And there it goes.
BLANK.
It’s been a painful start of a brand new year.
The very first month.
And I get myself tired
Knocking on myself saying
“LET’S START FROM THE WORSE
Cause it can promise you a better life in future.
LET’S HAVE A GREAT FALL IN THE BEGINNING
Cause at the end of it you’ll rise up proudly
That you’ve made through it.
LET’S START FROM THE HARDEST
Cause nothing good comes in an easy way.”
And it goes on and on and on.
And finally,
I had a deep great fall.
Then again I nearly gave up.
Having A FREAKING BIG WAKE UP CALLS
From many parties.
The best one would be my brother.
THE BEST I EVER HAD.
I was blind all this while.
I still believe
Friends come and go.
Even the true one.
Cause you can’t have everything in your life.
As life have never promise you the good things.
But learning is what life is all about.
The one who would stay by your side.
Who can never leave you no matter what,
Who never fail to bring you up even how bad you turn them down
Who never fail to make you a best person and stand out from the rest
Who never fail to save your life
Who will always be there till the very last of your breath
TRUST ME,
It’s your family.
It’s true,
All humans take things for granted.
If you say you don’t
HIT YOURSELF HARD ON THE WALL!
Whether we realize it or not,
They were the one who show you the way.
They will be the one who point out your mistakes
THE BEST.
I’m in the process of growing up.
And I need good peers around me
To shape me into someone good.
Not the other way round.
At the end of the story
You have the choice
It’s your life.
And I have so many words from people
That I lost my way.
TOO MUCH.
As a result,
I’m turning someone who I’m not.
I believe things happened with reasons
On which my presence in my friends life
Is just a big mistake
But in other way I’m sure some of them learn
Something from me.
And I’ve opened their mind and heart widely.
God has never failed to send someone new in your life.
Again,
I believe God have his own reasons too.
Partly with new things around, you gonna learn something new.
Hence new lesson taught,
New experience gain,
New life begin.
It goes the same for humans.
God send someone in your life with reasons.
It can even be thousands reasons for that.
Life can never be other things than learning.
That’s my point of view.
But to others maybe not.
Bottomline:
All of us are different with many different points of view,
To accept or not
Is just a choice.
My last Monday Blue ended up with tears.
Though I get a clearer picture after letting it out
A LITTLE to someone.
It does put my mind in ease just for a moment
And I get back to square one when I reached home.
I started to feel this loss.
I can’t believe I cried for a friend
Because easy said,
I’M HEARTLESS.
I don’t know why I care so much for her.
I don’t know why l loves her so much.
I don’t know why I had this feeling it gonna come to an end.
Where….
Friend comes and go.
I think it’s because I care too much for me
And I feel close to her at heart.
Where I believe she can never know.
Nor see.
I love you darl gf.
But at times if it’s best to let go,
I swear I’ll be sincere to let go.
And bout this unsure feeling I had for I don’t know how long
On which gonna drive me real nuts one day.
Is making it clear now,
That it’s best that I learn to let go.
And be free.
If it’s meant for me
No matter what it will always meant for me,
Fit me like a glove.
So I’m just preparing for the worst.
It’s never easy loving someone clueless.
Where you feel you were hanging without a rope.
I believe all humans need assurance,
So how does it feel of not having one when you needed it so much?
Sucks isn’t it?
I KNOW!
I don’t give a damn anymore.
JUJUR SAMPAI MATI
I have prinsip too.
Lies have always been my best enemy.
Too honest?
No such things as that.
Honest is simply honesty.
Love?
Feelings?
I GAVE UP.
I have to take things one at a time.
FIRST AND FOREMOST
Let me regain myself back.
And what’s the point pinning hope on something you’re unsure?
What’s the point loving someone when you don’t even know how to define love?
I do need it
VERY MUCH.
But how can I give my best
If I don’t see the best things in myself?
How can I love?
If there isn’t any love?
Confused?
NAHHHHH.
It’s soul searching.
And soul mate searching at the same time?
HAHAHA!!
Let’s kill one bird with two stone!
LOL!
Live life like tomorrow is the end of our life.
See on the bright side
Bey kalo tu side dark how?
HAHA!
Then suro Fadly suloh kan lampu larh!
HAHAHAHAHA!
“Be my guidance”
How lame I can be?
How stupid I am?
How pathetic I was?
What a joker sia ella!
HAHAHA!
You’re indeed such a fucking pain in his ass!
HAHA!
But whats with that?
Maybe I was indeed serious.
ALWAYS LAYS A REASON BEHIND IT.
Who knows?
GOD KNOWS THE BEST.
Nak dyer boley?
PLEASE????
HEHEHE!
OKAY BYE!
:♥Ayu♥:
:Aideel:
:Boii:
:Dewi:
:Eileen:
:Farna:
:FieFie:
:Gucci:
:Hafiz:
:Ika:
:ImahMoleh:
:Imah:
:Ila&Ezah:
:IqahRumland:
:Jia Min:
:JuLaH:
KinKin:
:KweeKee:
:Masturah:
:Mazni:
:Neb:
:Raihan:
:Syerzan:
:Sha:
:Sharifah:
:♥TyraMyDarl♥:
:Valerie:
:Wan:
:♥Zulraidi♥:
