Too much things for me to take
Things at one go.
Too much.
Very much.

And I hate that I’m changing to
Someone I’m not.
Someone I don’t wish to turn to.
No one can help me if I don’t help myself.
I don’t need to be fix.
I just need to be found.
Baby, grab my hand and take me away
Far from here.
I’m falling for you.
Maybe,
Again.

I don’t feel like living anymore.
Everything sucks.

Stop saying I’ve changed.
I might have changed from the outside.
My behavior.
On how I react.
But swear I’ve never changed for
WHO I AM INSIDE.
I’m still the same inside.
Stop repeating yourself guys.
I know myself better than anyone else.
All I need was just time.
Everything takes time.
Put yourself in my shoe,
You might understand.
Mak,
I love you.
Please trust me.
I’m still that daughter you have loved.
I’ve never changed inside me.
Abah,
I’m sorry for all the worries.
To my brothers,
Please I’m all grown up.
Just a lil’ understanding will do.
I’m tired of arguing, fighting,
Give one another a cold shoulder.
I don’t mind if you hate me now.
But don’t ever put the blame on others.
Especially putting the blame on Mak.
It’s my choice after all.
I only got myself to blame.

My sickness is getting worst.
Should I just let it be?
I’m afraid.
But I got to face it.
Be strong and be brave.

And boy how I wish you were there for me.
It’s my friend who opened up my heart.
That all this while I’ve been egoistic.
Selfish and stubborn.
All those words that I gave you
Get back to me.
Saying things that actually meant for me.

Yes,
I turned my heart to stone.
Yes you know me very very well.
I’ve never cold towards you.
So once it gets cold.
I called it THE END.
You know me well baby,
Too well that I can’t help it
But to look upon you.
You know almost everything
Inside out.
No one can understand me best
Like you did.
And I’ve never had the intention
To find a replacement.
A replacement just like you.
I’m sincere.
Whoever gonna be my next lover.
I would love him for who he is.
Not because I need someone to replace you.
And boy,
I ended myself at the dead end.
Falling for the wrong guy.
It’s not about the guy.
And it’s not about falling
For a guy at a wrong time.
Because no one can ever know
When it strike.
Things just happened.
We can’t see the future.
Haiz.
Some things are better left untold.

Shah Boii was kind enough to be my listening ear.
And he came out with a suggestion
To have him back in my arms.
Knowing we still care for each other.
He wants me to give it another shot.
Make it up.
And he don’t even know how hurt
I was to listen to his point of view.
Where me and CHARMING is just
A BIG IMPPOSIBILITIES.
Saying about CHARMING “jodoh’’ with a girl.
Again I realized no matter what.
You are still the best
That I need in my life.
Fickle minded?
Be it.
Even my instinct is not working at all.
How do I listen to my heart then?

And now giving another white lie.
Sacrificing for something I’m unsure.
That somehow hurts me.
Though I’m used to it.
I have to let Charming go.
Though I’VE NEVER PUT ANY HOPES.
Not even a lil’.
Worst to worst,
Letting go of someone
That was never yours at the first place.
I don’t fling,
I don’t flirt,
I don’t bitch around.
So whatever feelings I had for CHARMING
Is pure and sincere.
I never asked CHARMING
Anything for return.
I bet he doesn’t even know all this.
It’s best that I keep myself low.

1st Victim,

Kharirunnisa Bte Jais.
(The true one.)
The reasons also implies on
Why I simply love her damn much.

1) Who are you?
: Nisa

2) Are we friends?
: Yes, more than that? ;)

3) When and how we met?
: During childhood, at West Coast.

4) Give me a nickname & explain why you picked it?
: Galah! Coz you tall! Lol! Can’t think of something.

5) Describe me in one word?
: Patience.

6) What was your first impression towards me?
: Introvert.

7) Do you still think that way about me now?
: Ermmm… Haha not really coz I know you but maybe
Yes to those who don’t know you.

8) What remind you of me?
: White.

9) If you could give me anything what would it be?
: Stop smoking and drinking medicine! Haha! Stop soon.
You don’t allow me and you must stop too.

10) Which song reminds you of me?
: Teman Tapi Mesra.

11) How well do you know me?
: Extraordinary well?

12) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
: hmm maybe.

13) What do you hate about me?
: Hmm… Nothing. Haha. Please don’t forget me again.
LOL.

14) What do you love about me?
: Care, concern, sweet, patience, trust.
Everything.

15) When was the last time you saw me?
: Last Tues.
16) Do you think you have HONESTLY ans the qns??
: Yes.

2nd Victim.
A good friend of mine.
Eda’s BF.

1) Who are you?
: Afizan

2) Are we friends?
: So called friends but more to related maybe.

3) When and how we met?
: Not quite sure when but know you through Eda.

4) Give me a nickname & explain why you picked it?
: Can’t think of one.

5) Describe me in one word?
: CRAZY.

6) What was your first impression towards me?
: Don’t really judge people by first impression.

7) Do you still think that way about me now?
: Read no.6

8) What remind you of me?
: Kareena kapoor!

9) If you could give me anything what would it be?
: Sincerity. As a friend.

10) Which song reminds you of me?
: ??

11) How well do you know me?
: Complicated.

12) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
: Yes. Stop drinking, please?

13) What do you hate about me?
: Too much drinking.

14) What do you love about me?
: Your attitude.

15) When was the last time you saw me?
: Jurong East Mrt
16) Do you think you have HONESTLY ans the qns??
: Yes. HONESTLY.

See different people different view.

And that doesn't mean I've been pretending.

I bring the real me

Only to REAL people.

Accept me for who I am

Even if it's the hardest thing to do.

Be nice to me

I'll be nicer.

Give me shits.

I'll just take it.

Don't ask nor complain.

I AM WHO I AM.

I'm born in this way.

What if tomorrow never comes?
What if tomorrow I die?
Would you shed a tear for me?
Will you feel the loss?

Labels: :: DOESN'T MEAN I'M LOSING. ::