Sunday, July 5, 2009
:: Broken again, just how could you? ::
Today just sucks to the core to the max.
I've shouldn't have put hopes.
My fault?
Or should I ask why you love giving me empty hopes?
I'm very disappointed.
Pretty much.
''Can we meet tmr?"
I replied something like this.
-"ehk2...biar betol you nark mit?ni mesti aderh jerh''
"Cya tmr"
Couldn't sleep till 5 in the morning.
I'm just too excited.
I guess.
And I woke up at 12.
Reach for my phone first.
No msg.
Maybe that someone still asleep.
Thinking, give that someone a msg at 1?
Yes.
Too excited.
Waited till 2.18.
Yes.
Still remember.
"Are we meeting up today?"
-Silence, No msg-
I called.
And that someone raised his voice.
Yes.
VERY SAD.
I can't hear that someone voice.
That someone said he's having a headache.
So I suggested that someone stay at home.
Have a good rest.
I needed to buy a cardigan and jeans.
Actually,
Just because I'm all dressed up.
It was that someone idea to buy my stuffs with that someone today.
Even how much I wanted to buy it with mak.
Not wanting that someone to feel sad.
I bought Aniq's guitar instead with mak.
Finally that someone msg to meet at 6pm.
Then changed to 6.30pm.
Then that someone said.
Gonna be very late.
I'll just make a move since I'm already at LRT.
Wake up at 12 sia.
Thought we gonna meet at 3.
Latest also maybe 5.
But guess what.
We didn't meet at all.
FUCK.
No big deal shopping by myself.
I'm use to it when I was single back then.
"Meet me at funan. I wanna buy something"
I said.."Go yourself."
Phm2 jerh larh ku tgh bingit.
"i darh kat funan,nark mit tarknark?"That someone is still at home.
Chee[GOOD]bye.
Went home.
I don't know how many missed call was made by that someone.
Keep asking where I am.
I replied, I'm home.
That someone said "Great".
That someone at Funan.
So you really2 expecting me to wait for you for almost 2hrs at there.
Fucking no PERASAAN.
Sickening sia!
naybeh!
And btw...
On my way in the train,
I was caught with few couples surrounding me,
It was coincidence that I stood infront of this malay couple.
And fuck.
I couldn't hold back my tears.
They were sweet.
So I turned to my back.
And again.
A chinese couple.
And they were very sweet together too.
Craking jokes,making each other laugh.
And I asked Allah.
Why you landed me with all this couple surrounding me?
I can't take it anymore.
wishingyouwerewithmethatpoitnoftime.
I got to be strong,
Luckily ayu msg.
Yes there were tears rolling.
I pretended my eyes were pain.
Watching couples spending their time together.
Then i happened to enter to this shop.
Just to get myself hurt.
The GF:"ayg i tak tau, yg ni ke ni lawa?"
The BF:"hmm tah, dua2 lawa shey kalo you pakai,ape you pakai mesti lawa!"
='((
Kanina.
Butho.
I just walked off from the shop.
Painful very painful.
Or maybe i'm just to emotianal.
Way back home.
I creid in the train.
Not obvious.
Cause I keep on yawning people thought I was just sleepy.
Eyes closed.
Not wanting to see anything else and tried to hold back my tears like cibey.
Why oh why?
Attached=Single
For my definition.
I thought double is fun.
But sometimes you prove me wrong.
When I was single.
I was never alone.
But when I was attached.
Most of the time.
I'm alone.
Lonely.
You do left me alone.
Ivestopbelievingyouyesiam.
Butyetistillmissingyoubadlyhopingyoucouldholdmeinyourarms.
Where's the love gone?
='((((
Labels: :: willibebetteroffonmyown? ::
Yours Truly, Ella @ 12:23 AM
I Am Who You're Not
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